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[personal profile] rayjwinteraven
My bunny died last Wednesday.


He had trouble with his teeth and, being a prey creature, didn't let us know. I thought his eyes were runny, but it was drool from the tooth discomfort being swept up his cheeks when he'd groom. We got the teeth cared for, got antibiotics and painkillers and stool softeners, and he was looking so much better. And then he stopped eating, and got the runs, and we got him back to the vet and he was prescribed painkillers and stool softeners and forced feedings, but then he stopped swallowing. He told me he was done, his body temperature dropped dramatically, and we got him to the vet as quickly as we could, while I cuddled him to keep him warm and he looked around contentedly. The vet said that with rabbits who have lost the swallowing reflex, he's never had one survive, and we were preparing to help my bun-bun get to the Bunnyland, and he died.

I'm glad we had several years with him, and that he had some good time after the tooth troubles were treated. I'm glad we had the cuddling before he died, and that he looked around with a decent amount of interest and liveliness. I'm glad we got him to the vet, just in case they were able to save him. And I'm glad I got to say 'see you later.'

I think of him dozens of times a day. I didn't know how steadily he was in my thoughts before, but I'd often glance over to see how he's doing, and we had bunny-pet time every night, when I brought him his treats. Everything feels blunted and numbed, it's hard to hold interest in things.

We went to the Humane Society, and they have a bunny we're planning to adopt. She's been on my mind, since we'd met her, and I really don't want her to go to someone else before we can bring her home. I don't expect her to fill all of the emptiness where my Mist-bun was, but I know she's going to be a delight. It'll probably be a blend of sadness and anger that he's not in his cage, and happiness that she is, as we find her place in our family. They are two very different beings, and I don't think anyone could replace him anyway.

I hope I can find more happiness, so I can welcome her better.
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rayjwinteraven

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